Number 1

My posts are numbered from 1 to what ever number I get to. The reason for this is simply, I can't title a thought because if I could it would have a thousand different titles. This post could be titles: the girl I like, regrets, she asked a question....

Background.

I fall for the feeeemales easily but when I do fall, I fall hard. Falling for someone is like tripping over a curb with your face hitting the ground. Well for me atleast. My problem is that I'm so dam loud and confident in my normal life when it comes to the opposite sex where I like them more than just a friend I get shy. It's like being 13 again.

I have fall for this girl at university, MsS; well when I was a university. She has that smile that makes me go 'WOW', that laugh which makes me stop to gaze for a moment, and those eyes that tinkle especially when she smiles.  As you have gathered I pay attention to small details. Now the problem started. I fell for her and my friend also liked her. He told her and she said no but they are now best friends. I am just that guy who she chats to now and then. You know, the kinda dude who you know but not good friends with; that's me.

Now to the main bit, why I am thinking about her today. Recently I try to message her and call her but I fail miserably. We message each other now and then but never conversate on the phone, don't know why but she never wants to or does pick up. (I know I'm not stupid, she doesn't like me or anything, but I can't help myself).  Today she messages me about my Instagram pictures how they are "quite deep thoughts" and see if "everything is okay".  My Instagram is full of pictures with most of them being quotes about life, love and friendship.  As you may know I can't sleep a lot at night so I do find a few quotes on what I'm thinking about to share with the world. If I'm thinking about it so is someone else, that's my logic, it masks sense.

That comment she made about the quotes made me think of one I was going to post today.  

It was a meme; always tell people when you have feelings for them. Worst case scene is that you stopped being a pussy and got it off your chest. 

Few months back I wanted to tell her. It was the end of year ball and she looked like a 11/10 (yes she looked stunning). But I wasn't in the best of shape as I got drunk and was walking around like a douchebag with a bottle of champagne in my hand drinking the night away. I had it all played out what I was going to say to her also how I was gonna tell her that I like her. It was all planned out in my head.  Would you like to know what I had a planned in my head? Well... I was going to tell you anyway, you just got rhetorical questioned. 

The plan was... Ask her to dance; slow dance; while dancing gaze into her eyes while she looks back (I know cheesy as hell), I would look at the tinkle in her eyes where then she would smile (that smile she does which makes her look super duper cute). Follow by leaning in closer for a kiss her and whispering something romantic on that I would think of on the spot. (I should really write romantic Hollywood screen plays for romantic sense).

But instead she ask for a pic with me, where I hugged her and walk off after the photo like a drunken homeless dude in a really nice suit. All in all I did ask her if she wanted to go for lunch the next day, which she agreed to. The next day I was so shitty that I forgot I asked her and she reminded me about it few weeks later when she moved back home.

What has been eating my mind today is that I should have told her when I was at university with her.  Now she has moved back home, it is far and I don't want to tell her over a text or a phone call, where I don't know what to say.  If I ever do tell her, more like when I do pluck up the courage to tell her I shall report back.

This is MrU talking a little bit about MsS